The Sanatorium 2010

23 Jun 2021 by Cyberknight

*SPOILER ALERT* Stop reading if you don't want to know how this trash ends. This was made as a Found Footage Film (shaky camera, stupid focusing and framing, bad video and audio quality etc.) The first thirty minutes are random chit-chats, like showing staff reading books in a library or interviewing people during work time, with random people getting in and out (what was not cut off just to increase the film's length) and so on (and, a note to the producers, just because it was a clown, didn't make it funny). All that was absolutely irrelevant, as nothing added tension to the film (they could have summarised all that in characters' conversation already at the sanatorium). Only important piece of information, film/story/plot wise, was that there was supposed to be a nun ghost haunting the sanatorium, without any explanation as to why (if they had said it was Mother Teresa of Calcutta, or at least a follower of her "methods", that would suffice as explanation). The next twenty five minutes are random wanderings inside and around the sanatorium, with some "supernatural" events (practical and visual effects) happening here and there. Some are interesting, but most are just more padding to the film's length. A character is badly wounded in an accident with electricity, quite unrelated to the story. The final twelve minutes concentrate all the real action and scares, with the invisible evil spirits dragging people around and, eventually, killing some random characters off screen. Only in the last three minutes a character (the producer, the most annoying of them all) is killed on screen by an invisible spirit (which I can't really call "evil", because everyone wanted that guy dead), then the survivors get into the van and try to run away, just to be all killed off screen by the evil nun mentioned in the first 30 min, as she materialises inside the van (implied deaths, that is, because not even off screen sounds are offered to assure us that none of the dummies will come back in a sequel). The end. Follow four minutes of credits. Two of the worst moments in the film occur in those last twelve minutes: 1) The on screen death of the producer is shown in several different (bad quality) camera angles and takes, what would be obviously impossible with just one camera. It tries to convey a footage "feeling" at the same time as showing some "nice" fan-service gore. From a cinematic point of view, that's good, because we get a much better visual storytelling, but from the premise of a FFF, it completely destroys the "footage" feeling. Just plain stupid. 2) One character is demented, in an H.P. Lovecraft-ish way, by "something" he saw on the CCTv cameras installed in the sanatorium by the staff. The other characters rewind and watch the recording... And whatever it was that was so horrifying that could drive people insane just by watching on a display is never shown, because the cameraman just dumbly record the characters reactions (what the freak is that, YouTube?!), instead of pointing the lens to the monitors! Absolutely irking stupid! Fifty five boring minutes to get twelve minutes of stupid action. Just forget this.