Cliff Cash: Half Way There 2021

Look, Cliff Cash doesn’t want to alarm anybody, but as a North Carolina native with a mom who speaks in tongues, a dad who worked on pit crews in Nascar’s dirt-track days, and a lesbian big sister, he’s starting to think TV might not be making Southerners look good—less Southern Charm, more Southern Harm. Truly, when’s the last time you saw a southerner with a multisyllabic vocabulary and explicable storyline recounting a recent hurricane on the news? Then again, what God-and-Dale-Earnhardt-fearing Christian doesn’t go a little crazy when the socialisms and the Nobamas are coming to take your daddy’s junk-drawer .38 and your grandpappy’s hunting rifle, ‘cause they’re gonna melt ‘em down to make rings for abortion doctors’ gay Sharia weddings?

Look, Cliff Cash doesn’t want to alarm anybody, but as a North Carolina native with a mom who speaks in tongues, a dad who worked on pit crews in Nascar’s dirt-track days, and a lesbian big sister, he’s starting to think TV might not be making Southerners look good—less Southern Charm, more Southern Harm. Truly, when’s the last time you saw a southerner with a multisyllabic vocabulary and explicable storyline recounting a recent hurricane on the news? Then again, what God-and-Dale-Earnhardt-fearing Christian doesn’t go a little crazy when the socialisms and the Nobamas are coming to take your daddy’s junk-drawer .38 and your grandpappy’s hunting rifle, ‘cause they’re gonna melt ‘em down to make rings for abortion doctors’ gay Sharia weddings?